Anger can sometimes linger because we tell ourselves the same anger-inducing stories over and over again—a practice that only serves to remind us of who or what has hurt us in the past.
These stories are sometimes known as grievance narratives, and reliving them and embellishing them with more negative feelings usually leaves a person feeling upset, sad, depressed, and, in many cases, helpless. An easy way to tell that you’re trapped in a grievance narrative is if you find yourself telling the same story to the same person more than once.
But if you can break the grievance narrative loop, you may be on your way to reducing the angry memories and hurts that can sometimes flood the mind.
One strategy to ease the pain of negative memories includes attaching a positive meaning to a past event. Did a painful episode teach you a lesson in resilience? Did it allow you to pursue something that worked out well (the “when one door closes, another opens” idea)?
This concept is called “memory updating,” and it can take some practice and repetition for positive memories to attach or reshape memories that used to make you angry. Still, it’s a worthwhile endeavor. A 2021 study in the scientific journal Nature suggests that people who practice memory updating may have improved mental health.
